The Quivering Bone
This tale is called "The Quivering Bone"
Hear it well, and beware.
...
Out upon the dark waters, it is said there's a ghastly ship of unforeseen horrors. The dead walk freely upon it's planks, devouring lost people and marketing 80s board games, the captain of this ship was such a despicable tyrant that his crew of undead ghasts tied him to the ship's wheel with twine made from the braids of seventeen 25-year-old women.
This is where we enter the tale.
Lost on this ship of shadows, I tiptoed myself across the creaking wooden floor, the grotesque captain was still as the dead
I looked at his person, and discovered that he was adorned with many trinkets of desire
A brass eyeglass, a hat of red velvet more than anything I wanted to leave, but I was entranced by his booty
I had to take his belongings
Suddenly, a husky whisper arose on the breeze, a voice like the westerly wind: "Spinn... the... wheeel..."
I looked around for the speaker, and found no one.
When I returned my eyes to the captain, I found there was an enormous circular disk millimetres from my face
I stepped back in shock
Without thinking, I reached out to touch the disklike apparition
It was cold to the touch, and I discovered a two-pronged arrow affixed to it's centre
The "wheel" was split into eight segments, each with a crude image of a different treasure
A brass eyeglass, a hat of red velvet.
the captain's goods.
I tried to turn and run, but it was no good
I had to spin the wheel.
I grabbed the arrow and gave it a mighty heave, it spun wildly
After what felt like a few moments, the arrow stopped upon a vile segment
The brass eyeglass.
The dick broke before my eyes, a dank smoke that rose into the air and was lost on the southernly winds
The captain was left before me, still.
Awaiting my approach.
I walked briskly up to him, the time for stillness was over
The eyeglass was affixed to his left hand by some manner of sickening peg
impaled through his skeletal hand like a sword, or spike
I reached out to grasp the eyeglass, carefully
I tugged gently, but the captain's arm moved with me
it was no use
I would have to try with both hands.
I reached outwards to grasp at the ancient telescope with both of my shaking hands, frigid fingers wavering like floppy dogs
I took a good hold of the brass instrument, bending my knees ready for the mighty pull to come
I took a moment to pray to whatever gods would listen in this decrepit place
Then I yanked with a mighty force
The eyeglass came loose, sliding away in one quick motion!
For a moment I was elated, this was the greatest achievement of my entire adult life
But without any warning the bones began to rattle and shake, a seizure of quivering skeletal structures
the noise was beyond explanation
like a very cheap motor running beyond its capacity
I thought my head would burst, but the noise was drowned out by a final, apocalyptic cry:
"I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE OBJECT OF THE GAME IS TO NOT RATTLE THE BONES"
Credited to ricesnot
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