The Jeff Bezos Theory

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It's just a joke, bro!!

The following page may contain outlandish humor regarding certain public figures/companies. The content of this website is purely fictional and satirical; what is presented in this story is false. Thus this should not be taken seriously whatsoever.

Jeff Bezos

Ebay used to be one of the most popular web stores on the entire internet, seeing little to no competition. That was until Amazon started to become a huge business, almost out of the blue. What started off as a website for books, quickly became one of the most profitable companies on the planet. I think this has something to do with the company's founder, Jeff Bezos. Before Amazon became big, Bezos was already starting to plant the small seeds to make Ebay look bad. He started to write these horror stories about people who would buy things on Ebay that would end up being haunted, such as video games and movies, even some paintings. Have you ever seen "The Hands Resist Us" painting? That was made by Bezos himself to deter people from buying "haunted" items, so that they could shop on Amazon.

Bezos, as well as many other devoted Amazon workers, made these false stories and decided to upload them to a website where they could get the most recognition, The Creepypasta wiki. If you find any story on there, or the Trollpasta wiki, that has a character buy a haunted game from Ebay, then there is a high chance it was written by Amazon employees. They also paid the author of the NES Godzilla Creepypasta to include the part of him selling the cartridge he had on Ebay, despite it being a cursed item, to deter even more people. Now you may ask "Well, where did he get all this money?", which is a very valid question, dear reader. I believe I may have an answer for that as well.

Christian Weston Chandler is known as quite the laughing stock on the internet. Recently, they had been apprehended by the police on charges of having incestual sex with their dementia ridden mother. However, this was actually a cover up by Amazon. Many times, Chris has mentioned something called the "Dimensional Merge" in which they stated that every cartoon universe will crossover into our own universe. This is actually true, and is happening right now. Jeff didn't want this information to get out, so he had Liquid Chris say very incriminating things in a voice that sounded identical to Chris', and leaked them onto popular social media website Twitter. You may be wondering why Jeff Bezos would want to cover something like this up. Well that, dear reader, is because Jeff Bezos is not the man he claims to be.

If you are familiar with DC Comics, you may know who Lex Luthor is. Lex Luthor had crossed into our world during the merge. He saw that he was portrayed as a villain in many different media from DC, so he decided that he would change his name. That name being Jeff Bezos. The resemblance between the two is uncanny, what with both being powerful rich men in fancy suits, as well as not having any hair. The Boys and Invincible are two shows that you can find on Amazon Prime. While on the surface, they seem like normal shows, what lies underneath is much more sinister. One thing that these two shows have in common is that their main antagonists are both individuals who have the exact same powers as Superman, but use them in much more villainous ways. On Amazon Prime you can also find a movie called Brightburn, which is a horror movie about a boy who crash lands on a farm in Kansas, and has the powers of Superman. However, the boy uses these powers for sinister things. What do these media have in common? They're all Anti-Superman propaganda. This is so that incase Superman comes in during the Dimensional Merge, no one will trust him. Jeff Bezos also went into space recently. He's not an astronaut, so why would he do this? It was so that he could tell Brainiac that Superman will be coming to Earth soon. Jeff Bezos is trying to take over the world with Amazon so he can be a god over everyone, and have our armies defeat Superman once and for all.

TL;DR, Jeff Bezos is a supervillain.

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Written by Jotaromilk
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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