Tales From the Burgerverse: Trollpasta Bible: Hyper Tournament Abridged Super Mega Edition

Author's note: Credit to Niagaranobs for the title name and setting therein. He also wrote a few of these parts, helped with formatting and lead to King Harkinian being added.

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666 1:1 "There once was sea creature named Squidward. One day, he performed at a talent show and was terrible at playing the clarinet. He was boo'ed off the stage and later suicided himself to death."

666 1:2 "How do I know this? Well, I was the one recording it!!"

Lolwut 4:78 "ben drowned."

Lolwut 4:79 "We were planning on having a giant epic battle, but you have to use your imagination due to budget cuts."

Lolwut 4:80 "he couldn't swim lol"

Trollvelations 9:53 "And so, the trollpasta bible was lost due to the incompetence of the authors writing it. Bravo."

666 4:15-20 " 15 'You know, Methuselah Rake, isn't it weird how we have cyborgs and giant mechs but no medicine?' Clockwork asked.

16 'I don't think about it much. Hurts after a while, noticing all the inconsistencies.' The Rake yawned.

17 'Hey. Wouldn't it be funny if I made an entire nation of frog people?' Jeff the Lord asked, shit eating grin baring down like sunlight.

18 'I guess. Wait, aren't we in a giant desert?' Clockwork asked, pointing out the giant flaw.

19 And so, Jeff the Lord turned a huge patch of desert into rain forest with a sneeze.

20 'No.' Jeff chuckled."

666 6:66 "'You know, this will be really confusing and hard to say because the naming convention.' Clockwork the Archivist groaned.

'I know. Lol.' Jeff the Lord retorted with."

Hamburg 4:6 "'Ow! Stop hitting me, motherfucker!' The Sentient Burger yelled before throwing a car battery at the assailant's head."

Niagariah 6:66 "'And as I stand before you, raging like a flooded river, I give unto you a befitting outcome.' Bill said, throwing a twenty sided die upon the ground and having a twenty as the result."

Exekiel 19:92 "'Actually, I'm totally fine. Everyone here is alright. We've gotten used to this decades ago.' The Blue Mascot said back as he started glitching in and out of reality."

Exekiel 19:91 "'O, Jeff the Lord! Help these damned souls!' Doctor Feelgood wept over a man bleeding from his eyes. Except the man was actually a mascot by Sega."

Hamburg 4:7 "The giant hamburg steak grabbed a comically large grill and produced many small clones of himself."

Hamburg 4:5 "The town of Trollstice went into civil war as a much larger hamburger arose, laughing before being clubbed with a 2x4."

Hamburg 4:4 "no."

Hamburg 4:3 "'For the love of Jeff the Lord, stop making pastas!' The town of Trollstice proclaimed at a moldy, decomposing hamburger."

X-odus 5:3 "As King Skelemon banished the Worshippers of X from Wiki, they wandered the vast deserts in search of a new home."

X-odus 5:2 "Furrys and Sonic.exe fans shall rise against the evil that is the Creepypasta Wiki!"

X-odus 5:1 "Get the fuck out of my country."

Trollvelations 1:38 "Jeff the Lord ran off to the Krusty Krab and order a good meal."

Trollvelations 1:37 "The dinner guest, King Harkinian, walked out of the kitchen."

Trollvelations 1:36 "then Jeff the Lord said "uhh OH that isn't smoke, that's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having!""

666 19:82-84 " 82 'Hear ye, hear ye! I, Smile Dog, hereby declare that all ideas will be regulated within my empire. For your own good.' Smile Dog dictated.

83 'That idea sucks.' A random citizen said.

84 That random citizen got hit by a rocket, causing his arms to get blown off and his legs were blown off and his head was blown off and then he blew up. In that order."

Trollvelations 1:20 "'Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Jeff the Lord?' King Harkinian pondered."

Trollvelations 1:21 "'Ah, d'oh! No! That isn't smoke, but steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having!" Jeff the Lord retorted, rubbing his hand o'er his stomach. 'Mmmmm! Steamed clams!'"

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