Sonic.EXE 3

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I'm so fucking done with everything. Let me explain myself. Just this morning, Sonic.EXE pissed all over my face. I had to take a very long shower and I can still taste it. He will suffer for what he did to me. I am going to use my elite hacking skills to find put where he lives and kill him. For those of you who don't know, I became an elite hacker from watching a SomeOrdinaryGamers video. I was on my way to Sonic.EXE's house when I ran into Edward and Nicole from Arcade Craniacs. They were filming a video on Sonic.EXE so I stalked them. Here is what happened; Edward did his usual intro and then knocked on Sonic's front door. He then made an adult joke about how he used to be in a relationship with him. Sonic.EXE opened the door and said "Fortnite.EXE" loudly. They screamed and ran away. Now that I had the perfect chance to strike I jumped out of the bushes and stabbed Sonic.EXE in the back. He laughed and said "that's exactly what I want in my men- I mean friends!" That comment made me feel bad for him. Turns out he just wanted an emo boyfriend like me to get with. "And that is how I met your other father" I say to my two kids.

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