Mario Tortellinie

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NSFW WARNING
This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations... Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

One day, I was watching porn. Then a man came up to my door and humped it. I opened the semen covered door and he started talking to me. "Hello fucker! My name is Mr. Tortellinie! Want to try some of my men?" i said "Men? What the fuck are talking about?" "Where i came from, Men means pasta!" Wow, Some guy wanted to give me pasta covered in piss and shit. "No." I slammed the door on him and he said "Okay! See you later... BITCH!". I jumped out my my window and got in my car. I drove to My Assmart, My Assmart sells stuff and things. When i looked at the cashier, He looked oddly familiar. "CIAO! WANT TO BUY SOME CONDOMS!" It was Mario Tortellinie! "Um... Hi." I then ran to FuckLand. Mario was standing there... MENACINGLY! "Hello! Can i interest you with a penis sucking?" He was drunk! Then i ran to the nope train. The next station was fuck it town. Mario was at the train station. "We meet again [Insert name here]!" How did he know my name, rank and serial number! I then rented a hover board and hovered to... Chuck E. Cheeses? Eh, whatever. I entered and "Chuck E." was at the door. Chuck E. took off his head. "Hello! Can i help you?" What the fuck! it was Mario! "Why are you following me!" i said. "Because your sexy!" Mario said. I blacked out. When i got to the hospital, I saw the doctor. The doctor was Mario Tortellinie. What a shock! "What the hell are you doing here!" i said. "I thought this was a convention." Mario said. A week later i got released from the hospital. I went to my friends house and i went upstairs to fuck her right in the pussy. "Dinners ready!". The voice sounded so familiar... When we went downstairs after having sex, I saw Mario Tortellinie! *Dun Dun DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!* I ran out the door and drove away with my sexy girlfriend. We drove to a hotel and rented a room. When we got there, We had a bath with eachother. A fewdays later, i saw the janitor. And of course, it was none other than Mario Tortellinie. "DA FUQ!" I screamed. When i went back to my house, I heard some strange noise in the bathroom. It was Mario Tortellinie taking a shit. "I. HATE. YOU!!!!!". Then he jumped out the window. A few months later, My girlfriend and I had a wedding. When we got there, The guy who says "You may fuck the slut!" was... MARIO TORTELLIINIE!!!!!!!! I took my knife out of my pocket and stabbed him in the heart. I got arrested. When i went to jail, I was masturbating to my girlfriend (apparently, she got arrested too). then i heard a voice outside the door "want to eat my shit?". We put our clothes on and we opened the door. It was Mario. Holding a penis flamethrower. "Bye bye, Fucker."

TO BE CONTINUED.

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