Mario Farts

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I thought that Super Mario Bros. was just a fun and wholesome experience. However, the other day, I discovered a hidden mode in the original Super Mario Bros. that was somehow hidden from even the most experienced dataminers for over 37 years.

I had gotten home from work, and had just had my dinner. I was bored and decided to relive some nostalgia, so I started searching through my attic for things from my childhood. I managed to find my old NES along with a copy of Super Mario Bros.

For some reason, I distinctly remember letting out a massive burp that lasted like 23.826544 seconds right when I picked up the cartridge. It's probably not foreshadowing, though.

I plugged the game into my TV, and started up World 1-1. I decided to start recording the game to send to my estranged son who's currently with my crackhead ex-wife, since I know he likes retro games.

However, when I grabbed the mushroom, something didn't seem right. I heard the sound of a gurgling stomach. It definitely wasn't coming from me.

However, I didn't have much time to think, as about 7 seconds later, Mario began farting relentlessly. There were very visible fart clouds coming from him, and the sound of realistic farts.

I was disgusted that my childhood seemed to be getting destroyed in front of my eyes.

Suddenly, after another 6 seconds, Mario shot up into the sky, and was teleported further into the level. I thought at this point maybe the game was just old and needed cleaning.

However, I had doubts about that theory when I noticed that the fart clouds seemed to be killing all the enemies I came across. Did the farts smell so bad that they instakill enemies?

I was almost at the flag pole, when Mario suddenly flew up into the sky again, and I was teleported to World 8-4. Specifically, the water section.

Immediately after entering the water, the water started changing from blue into a diarrhea-ish brown. Mario was now polluting the water supply of the Mushroom Kingdom with his farts, which almost made me throw up.

When I got to Bowser, he breathed a fireball at me. However, as I learned from my college days, you should NEVER mix fire with farts.

When the fire touched one of the fart clouds, there was a massive explosion. Not just in the game, but my television actually blew up as well, spraying fountains of dirty fart water all over my living room.

I managed to salvage the recording, however. I never sent it to my son, as it was too frightening for his young eyes.



Written by Nambona890
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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