I Farted
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Suddenly, an entire platoon of US marines smashed their way in and kidnapped me and flew me away. Then, I suddenly woke up. I consulted a psychologist about this. They said to me, "Sir, this is a coffee shop". This scared so much my buttocks erupted, ripping my trousers apart and killing everybody in the world with a mountain of smelly shit. The world exploded.
...
P.S. I was purple the entire time.
Credited to Ocelot_von_Bismarck
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