Familyguy.LULUL: Part 2
It was a dark and stormy night and I was STILL a massive family guy fanatic. Though that family guy dvd I bought from eBay had some sort of… affect on me.
I couldn’t look at family guy JUST the same after I watched it but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was so wrong. I loved family guy! So what was wrong?
maybe I had to cool down with a family guy video game. I searched up and down on eBay for cheap family guy games when I saw a pretty cheap listing for that one family guy 3D game I forgot the name of that released on the PS2. No, not back to the multiverse, that was released on the PS3.
it was only 15$ and had free shipping so I decided to buy it because I did own a PS2. It even had family guy stickers on it!
It said it would arrive in about a week but I took a nap after buying it and only 2 hours during my nap the doorbell rang and it was already there!
I thought to myself “damn, that was fast! Let’s just hope this isn’t cursed like the DVD I bought.” I took it out of the box and it seemed completely normal, although it smelt a little funky. I looked in my attic for the PS2 and finally found it. I took it to my room to hook up to the Brian wall-mounted TV and finally popped the disk in.
it took a little long to download but after some 20 minutes it was finally done. I don’t know why it could’ve taken that long. Maybe it was just my consoles age.
I finally played it and off the bat I spawned in the griffins house as Peter. Nobody was around the house, not even Lois!
I hadn’t played this game before though so I thought to myself this was just how the game was. Maybe it was just rushed? So, I decided to venture outside the griffins house and I couldn’t find anybody. Eventually I briefly saw what looked to be megs mutilated body, and I loaded into an intense boss fight with Ernie the giant chicken. He was hard as balls, constantly getting sick ass combos on me and dodging a lot of my hits. “What the fuck?!” I said to myself as Ernie was clapping me. Suddenly right as Ernie was about to kill me Peter became much taller and then grabbed Ernie! Peter has eyeless sockets with blood leaking from them and scary fingernails! He also had sharp teeth and blood all over his hands! Peter scratched Ernie’s eyes out and tore him in 2 before putting both parts of Ernie’s body in a deep fryer and eating them!
“WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT?!” I said as Ernie got violated by Peter. After the battle I dropped back into the game as stewie. But something wasn’t right… he seemed to be in a hospital but it was filled with a strange blackish fog. I wandered around the hospital and suddenly found lots of dead patients and what seemed to be psycho doctors trying to attack me! I used stewies ray gun to blast shots at them and those killed the super evil doctors. I wandered further and found Brian’s corpse! He had no arms and had eyeless sockets. Brian’s body rose from the ground and said “come on stewie, let’s go on an adventure!” I got terrified and stewie seemed to be terrified too. Brian’s stomach opened into a bloody mouth with a strange sharp stick thingy! He was levitating towards stewie. I shot Brian several times and he seemed to finally die. The screen blacked out again before I was now playing as… Brian? But the Brian I was playing as seemed terrified. What was scaring him?! Brian spawned in a hospital. a Cutscene played between him and a doctor. Brian was told to go to his patient room. I wandered as Brian looking for the so-called “patient room” before the screen suddenly blacked out again. Brian then spawned in a hospital bed and for some reason Brian could not move. “What in gods name is happening?!” I uttered to myself. I considered taking the disc out and smashing it already but my curiosity encouraged me to keep playing.
suddenly, Peter entered the room in a doctor uniform! He seemed normal until Peters eyes suddenly popped out and he seemed to grow taller. “Oh fuck!” I said, this was the Peter that mutilated Ernie! What would happen to Brian? I could briefly see an axe swinging down to Brian’s left arm. I couldn’t actually see it getting severed because the screen blacked out before but I could hear Brian’s painful screaming. It cut to a screen with Stewie, Brian and Ernie. It showed X’s over Brian and Ernie. When I tried to select them it failed! I couldn’t select them! The only one I could was stewie.
I loaded in as stewie in what seemed to be a dark forest. The trees were all pitch black and there was a grey fog. Stewie looked terrified and he said “mom? Mummy? LOIS?! BIG SISTER MEG?! BIG BROTHER CHRIS?!?!” But nobody came. I ventured as stewie deeper into the forest when I saw Meg! She was still alive but had lots of wounds and was tied up to a tree. She had one eye lost and blood all over her! She said “stewie, you have to hide! Daddy is killing all the family and your next! Hide!” I hated Meg but she seemed to be doing something good for once! Stewie hid inside a tree trunk and I heard a demonic version of Peters voice say “shut up Meg.” Before I heard an axe drop and her screaming! I hoped stewie would be safe until I saw peters face staring into the tree trunk! The screen blacked out as Peter said “does baby stewie want a hug?” Before I heard stewie screaming in pain!
then the face of Peter showed on the screen as he said “Your next, max.” “OH MY GOD!” I shrieked out as I removed the disk and smashed it! I shouldn’t have played that game.
I could never look at family guy the same ever again.
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