Fallout 4: Edgy Blood Edition

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NSFW WARNING
This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations... Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I loved Todd Howard. He was my waifu.

I also accepted him as my god.

However, one fateful day would change all of that.

The Email

I came home after a long day of college, expecting to see my mother and father there. To my surprise, they weren't, so I had the house all to myself.

The first thing I did was check on my dad's computer to see where he kept all his porn (Seriously? Who the fuck downloads porn these days? Fuckin' plebs.). Secondly, I checked my Hotmail. I almost came as soon as I saw the email. It was from Todd Howard! He was offering me a "Fallout 4 Super Deluxe Ultra Expensive as Fuck Edition" for free! Even though the email did seem almost to good to be true, I accepted it anyways, since it was from my lord Todd Howard.

It Arrives

Finally, it was here. I could feel myself getting hard when I saw the nice box that it came in. I immediately ran to the basement to load it up on my Ouya.

That's when I noticed the first odd thing.

It took 48 hours to install. That meant I had to go to kindergarten for two days without spending my time on more important things first, like playing this game. After those two, torturous days, I finally got to play. I thanked the Todd Howard gods before playing.

The First Session

When I got to the character creation screen, I knew what to do. I had to make my character look like the so-called "Lord Gaben". I needed to make sure he knew his place. I needed to make sure he was only a pawn to Todd Howard, meant to be controlled and played like I would do in Fallout 4. I also made sure to name my character "Lolis4evr" since I want more people to appreciate Lolis and teach them that it's perfectly ok to be sexually attracted to them.

When my character exited vault 111, I wanted to be excited, but instead, I saw some spooky shit. I saw more blood than I should in a fallout game. I saw blood on the houses, on the street, and in many other places. The one thing that really spooked me, however, was that I saw two skeletons in sexual positions. I was so spooked that I had to put the game down and take a well-deserved rest from 12 hours of gaming.

The Next Day at College

When I arrived at university the next day, that's when I knew I got into some deep shit with myself. I started to perceive everyone at school as Feral Ghouls. I thought the only thing I could do was to find something that could count as a weapon and kill everything in sight. I managed to find a strong, extra sharp pencil and then I continued on to get the job done. After I killed every Feral Ghoul in the school, I saw dead students everywhere and realized what I had just done. I had commited one of the most edgiest crimes anyone could commit.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to run home to play some more Fallout 4

The Second Session

When I played this time, I noticed something. The blood and gore in the game was more hyper-realistic than I remember in previous installments. Using the VATS to take out some enemies revealed their skeletons when I saw their gore. It was spooky.

What I saw next however, would disturb me forever.

I saw my waifu, Todd Howard, on the screen. He told me that I was playing Fallout 4: Edgy Blood Edition, and that playing this would cause me to see spooky shit for the rest of my life.

Next, I heard sounds coming from upstairs.

The End

Soon, I realized that my home was being raided by a SWAT team. They captured me and put me in a room. They used a time machine to take me to a place that would kill me. I saw dinosaurs everywhere. I realized that I got the death penalty for being a horrible person. The dinosaurs then began to brutally kill me.

This edition of Fallout 4 is out there, believe me. If you come across it, you're screwed as fuck.

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