Do Not Dislike It

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Guys, I've got a problem. Not a regular problem. This may be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. If you can help me, PLEASE DO. I guess I should give you some background information first.

On the night before all this shit got started, I was browsing 4chan and 4chanPlus, like I always use to do. I went around on 4chan's /b and plus4chan's /a boards, but /b is the important part on this one. I was randomly clicking on some threads to see if they were funny. It was at that point I stumbled upon the thread that screwed my life over.

I think many of you have heard of a meme called Uncle Dolan. If you haven't heard of it, it basically revolves around a humanoid duck closely resembling a mentally disturbed Donald Duck on weed. He does stuff like kick and hurt his nephews, trying to steal things and killing people. I LOL'd at most of the Dolan thread's comics. Then, I encountered one that was just freaking horrible. I typed what I thought of it.

I shouldn't have done it. My computer crashed 1 second after I sent my comment. I restarted it. When it had finished booting... everything changed. So did my wallpaper.

It was a close-up picture of Dolan. I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!?" It didn't take long until I was answered.

The command prompt appeared, and a message was typing itself. "Ur komputer is ded'ings. Regards, Dolan."

After that, my computer died, and for real this time. It was completely DEAD. (FYI: I am typing this on another computer.)

I had no idea what I would do. My computer was destroyed, and no one would believe me if I told them what happened. I left my apartment and walked outside. I had nowhere else to go, so I decided to go to my friend. It was the only place I could think of. When I got there, the door was opened. I entered so see if all was OK with my friend.

Turned out it wasn't. He was lying down on a table, unconscious. He held a note. "BEHIND U" it said. That fucking duck had been stalking me all the time. I fell unconsciuous.

I woke up in my room. Someone was less than half a meter from me. He was staring intensely at me. It was Dolan. He held an axe and his hand was wrapped in a latex glove. Three months later, which is now, I am still alive. Dolan's nephews are beside me. I am living in Dolan's house. I am writing this letter with the nephews. I warn you. If you see an Uncle Dolan comic, DO NOT DISLIKE IT. If you can help the four of us, please do it. We are the victims of ass surprise every day. So are we also victims of daily penis inspection.

People, remember this, it is the focus of this entire message...


Credited to Uncle Dolan
Originally uploaded on November 2, 2011

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