Da Man is Smiling: Ben Takes A Watery Dirtnap Spinoff
Oh my lord. Please delete this if it breaks rules. I did not know this would happen, really.
Hey yo, remember that shit Ben did a while back
Motherfuckers said it wasn't gonna work
That crazy shit, yeah the stupid shit
Hey yo Benny!
Hey man why don't you come off the ocarina for a minute
And bust this crazy shit
[BEN]
...Woke up quick, at about noon...
Just thought that I had to be in the cartridge soon
I gotta get drunk before the 4th day begins
Before my mother starts bitchin about Jeff
About to go and damn near went blind
Young Hylians at the pad throwin up triforce signs
Ran in the house and grabbed my clip
With the Hero's Bow on the side of my hip
Bailed outside and Z-pointed my weapon
Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin
Jumped on the horse played the song for my ride
I got front back and side to side
Then I let the alpine play
Bumpin new shit by DWA (Deku's With Attitude]
It was gangsta gangsta at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin like this:
Cruisin down the street on my horse
Jockin the bitches, slappin the hoes Went to the park to get the scoop
Terminians out there cold shootin some hoops
A cart pulls up, who can it be?
A mask salesman rolled, kilo g
He rolls down his window and he started to say it's all about makin Majora pay
*chorus*
Cuz the boyz n tha clock town are always hard
You come talkin that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin nothin in life but to play legit
Don't quote me Link, cuz I ain't said shit
[BEN]
Down on bitches in the place to give me the pace
He said my man Jadusable is on freebase
The boy jadusable was a friend of mine
Til I caught him in my horse tryin to steal my alpine
Chased him up the street to call a truce
The silly motherfucker pull out a slingshot
Little did he know I had a loaded heros bow
Jadusable dead, Clock Town times front page
*chorus*
[BEN]
Bored as hell and I want to kill
So I went to a spot where the Moon Children chill
The children out there, makin that dollar
I pulled up on my Epona
They greet me with a potion and I start drinkin
And from the Kotake's my breath start stinkin
Love to get Zelda, to rock that body
Before I left I hit the bacardi
Went to her castle to get her out of the pad
Dumb hoe says something stupid that made me mad
She said somethin that I couldn't believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
She started talkin shit, wouldn't you know?
Reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe
Her father jumped out and he started to shout
So I Z-targeted him and knocked his whole ass out
*chorus*
[BEN]
I'm rollin hard now I'm under control
Then wrapped the master sword round the telephone poll
I looked at my sword and I said, oh brother I throw it in the gutter and go buy another
Walkin home and I see the g ride
Now ket is drivin kilo on the side
As they busted a u, they got pulled over
It was Gannon dressed in a dark green nova
Ket got beaten for resistin arrest
He socked the pig in the head for rippin his guess
Now g is cut for doin the crime
For defense on the boy, he'll do some time
[eazy-e]
I went to get them out but there was no bail
The fellaz start to riot in the Hyrule Castle jail
Two days later in Hyrule court
Kilo g on trial straight cold cut a fork
Distruption of a court, said the judge
On a six year sentence my man didn't budge
Bailer came over to turn him in
Kilo g looked up and gave a grin
He yelled out fire!, then came suzi
The bitch came in with a sub-machine uzi
Guards shot the bitch but didn't hurt her
Both up lands for attempted murder
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
