Abraham Lincoln vs. Shrek
So there I was, at Abraham Lincoln's grave. I thought it would be funny to get the corpse and make my girlfriend deepthroat Abraham Lincoln's dick, so I made my girlfriend dig him up.
After 666 hours, she finally unearthed a spectacular coffin made of pure gold and diamonds and shit. After making her swallow the diamonds so she would shit them out later and we could sell them, I opened the coffin and was spooked.
There was no corpse.
There was a SKELETON.
Suddenly, it became engulfed in a spooky green aura, and it came to life. It pulled a trumpet out of my girlfriend's ass and started playing it until Shrek arrived and attempted to kiss Abraham Lincoln's skeleton. Abraham Lincoln's spooky skeleton then came to life and as revenge punched Shrek in the face and gave us a long speech about how what we were doing is deeply disrespectful, but that it was never too late to turn our life around as we were still only 22 years old.
This altered the course of our lives forever. Goodbye.
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