A Poem of Pure Terror

There was a ghost.

It liked Mountain Dew the most.

Other ghosts laughed at it,

Because it wasn't very fit.

The ghost liked Mountain Dew so much,

It drank a lot of it each day in a rush,

And it got a lot fatter than the other ghosts,

And turned green instead of white like the other ghosts,

Who drank plain white milk,

Which is why they were the color of silk.

White silk.

Because they drank white milk.

So anyway the ghost one day haunted someone,

And it tried to be really scary at first for fun,

But then it realized the person it was haunting

Had the answers it was wanting.

"Why am I such a fat fuck?" asked the

Ghost, duh.

The person said, "Ahhh! A spooky green fat ugly ghost!"

Then the ghost got sad and said, "Now I'm ugly too? Toast

Is my favorite breakfast food. Now what

Can I do to reduce the size of my gut?"

The person told it to get more exercise and diet

And told the ghost to try it.

So the ghost started drinking diet Mountain Dew,

But, just as in life, your mom's weight in pounds still remained over five hundred and two.

---

Credited to KTFNFAJ 

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