A Demon With A Lisp

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Maxwell Barrett is a poser. He isn't gay at all, and I'll tell you how I know. Let me take you back to the time in the gym locker-room when he witnessed me undress. So, there I was, completely nude, and the guy seemed totally disinterested. The alleged homosexual didn't even look twice. It was woosh, he looked, then woosh, he looked away. He's a self proclaimed gay, yet he didn't lunge for my package. Why? Oh, I've spent some time theorizing on just that.

It all started the beginning of senior year. Maxwell used to date girls and everything, all up until the incident. So, we (the class and I) were constructing a wooden fence around the perimeter of the school, a supposed effort to build good social relations between classmates, and during Maxwell found something in the dirt. I don't know if anyone else saw, but the guy uncharacteristically shoveled his hand into the dirt, clawing whatever it was that caught his eye. Then like a man possessed, he shoved the thing into his pocket, engulfing everyone around in a cloud of dust.

I remember watching him come to, emerging from the depths of unconsciousness. He fanned the dust away from his face, confused. Everyone pointed and laughed at Maxwell, the entire side of his leg ridiculously dirtied. I wanted to ask what it was that he found, but preferred to keep my distance; I knew from the jump that he wasn't all that he seemed. I witnessed him switch at the drop of a dime, and it was clear he was unaware of his own condition.

Throughout the coming months, I noticed many peculiarities, none of which fit the mold of a typical homosexual, but instead painted a portrait of an obviously disturbed individual. When no-one was looking, Maxwell would shove a pencil into an ear, on either side of his head, and pull it out the opposite side. It was an elusive sighting I had the better sense of keeping to myself, but I'd witnessed the occurrence on more than one occasion; each time barely able to bear the sight. The bastard would clean up any evidence by licking the pencil clean of blood, wax, and whatever else godawful thing it had accumulated. This was a layer to Maxwell that only I knew, and I was fascinated.

Based on my own observations I can say with the utmost assurance that Maxwell was a young man possessed. My theory: the church grounds upon which our Catholic school was built was deeply rooted in the occult at one point, and whatever it was that Maxwell had initially found was a cursed relic. I surmise it gravitated to his innocence, and by some evil, compelled him to acquire it, thus allowing it to gradually manifest and acquaint itself with Max's innards until the looming eventuality of the corporeal domain went under the demon's full possession.

I know the possession is in its final stages, for the demon has begun exercising its will over Maxwell, compelling him to claim homosexuality over the internet of all places, which will inevitably push him further from the church, thus playing on the demon's chances of never breaking hold of its grasp. The demon may, in fact, be a homosexual. A gay demon. And, I propose this based on its choosing of Maxwell. Max is a delectable young man, with a marvelous toothy smile, fair skin, the deepest dimples one could get lost in, beautiful almond eyes, and a luscious helping of auburn hair, always neatly quiffed to the side.

There are no certain terms as to what the demon seeks to accomplish, but in the pool unpredictable outcomes, lies the certainty that it will try anything. Maxwell's homosexuality may be the first of a series of uncanny traits to be exhibited. I think an exorcism must be performed on him before it's too late. I just hope as of writing this he hasn't already committed some atrocity. I suggest a close eye be kept on gay bars in his area, furthermore one should not approach him with a cucumber or any other cylindrical object— and that be for Max's own safety. Self inflicted mutilation is a phenomenon of the possessed; the underlying assumption here being that a virgin anus would be the prime target of a gay demon.

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Credited to RameeSumrein 

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