2 Cups 2 Heads
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Cuphead has more to it than difficulty. It has some darker sub plots that were removed from the game. I would know as I was one of the earliest test players. Back when Cuphead was in its alpha stages, my uncle was a test player for Cuphead, but I wanted to play so I took a straw, put it in his ass while he was sleeping and drank out all of his intestines. Then I took the game from him and played it for myself. When I booted the game, there was no title screen or anything that displayed the logos. It just took me straight to the opening cutscene. The opening cutscene was more different looking than the final. It didn't have the distinct 1930's style it usually has, but instead, had 38,000 BCE animation instead, which was slightly older than 1930's animation.
The cutscene showed Cuphead and Mugman at the Devil's Casino betting with the devil that they could a full house of aces in a game of cards. Not long after they started playing, the devil shouted UNO and won. Now Cuphead and Mugman were on their knees, begging for mercy. The devil then told them that if they could kill all of his ex wives, they'd be able to go free. The game started and the map looked like a small island and Cuphead had a more small body but big head for his map sprite. There was only 1 fight available on the map and that was goopy la grande, who appeared beside a sign that said 1. As shown in one of the oldest trailers for Cuphead, it was just a regular fight against goopy la grande but with 2 of him instead of one. It was kinda hard to beat with 2 of them jumping around so I had my brother join in as Mugman. We beat the goopies in a flash and proceeded to explore the rest of the map.
There were icons for other bosses on the maps standing next to signs but they didn't appear to be functional. Me and my brother kept searching each boss to see which one would work but alas, had no luck in finding another functional boss. My brother then said she got bored and kept trying to go back, but I took his controller from his hands. He then tried pulling it back from me and we ended up having a tug o war with the controller. He tugged so hard his face turned pink and then I fucking parry slapped him so hard he went out cold. I would feel bad, but I was done with his shit so I just left him there. After enough traveling in the map, BY MYSELF WITHOUT MY ASSHOLE BROTHER, I finally found a new area with a cutscene.
The cutscene showed a dead devil on the floor, being stood on by the Cup brothers. I assume this was an end game cutscene for when you'd beat the devil, but I wasn't too sure. The next slide of the cutscene showed the brothers at home, looking at each other with relatively seductive bedroom looks. I found myself getting a chubby, but I pushed it back in. The brothers then started taking off their pants, one sitting on the floor while the other would bend his ass over the other brother's head. Cuphead then proceeded to squeeze a massive turd out into Mugman's mug head hole, squishy cartoony plop sounds included and with realistic fart sounds. This absolutely disgusted me and I started to scream. My brother woke up from his bitch slap and put his hand on my shoulder. When I turned my head to him in a shocked state, he had bedroom eyes. He proceeded to pull down his pants and stood up. I was absolutely horrified but for some reason I couldn't move. My brother then bent his ass over next to my head and shat directly into my ear, getting it all in deep into my head. I guess you could say he got it through my head. I started vomiting white vomit out of my boy uterus because it was so gross. Eventually, I finally gained the ability to move and got so angry, I floated in the air, open up the top of my head and blasted a beam of diarrhea out of my head, similar to how Cuphead blasts a beam of cum out of his head. He died and a weird ghostly voice shouted "Knock out!" I looked around me and realized that I had the same 38,0000 BCE animation style as Cuphead did. It occurred to me that I was now Cuphead. I tried screaming at the screen but no one could hear me. I'm still here to this very day in the world of Cuphead, even in the final release. Please help.
Written by Flavored Soap
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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